Bite Your Tongue! 10 Ways to Be an Effective Listener


 by: Joy Fisher-Sykes

Have you ever spoken to someone and then felt the need to say, ?Did you hear what I just said?? Why did you feel the need to ask? Probably because the listener didn?t provide you with the feedback you needed to know you were heard.

Listening is the most important, yet often most neglected, communication skill. In fact, the ability to listen is often rated one of the top five abilities employers seek in their staff. It?s also certainly highly sought after in the people nearest and dearest to our hearts.

Here are 10 ways to be an effective listener:

  1. Recognize the difference between hearing and listening

    • There is a very distinct difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is to merely perceive sound.

    • Listening is the mindful, conscious act and desire to hear, comprehend, and response to others.

  2. Be willing to listen

    • Begin with a commitment to listen - be open minded and consider other points of view.

    • Listen regardless of whether you agree or disagree with what?s said. Resist the urge jump to conclusions; be defensive or argumentative with the speaker.

  3. Be attentive

    • Stop what you?re doing and give the speaker your undivided attention. If it?s not a good time for you, defer the conversation.

    • Ignore the desire to multi-task and selectively listen (only listening to bits and pieces of information).

    • Remain in the moment for the duration of the conversation

      • don?t tune in and out or pretend to be listening when you?re really thinking about where to go on your next vacation.

  4. Show respect

    • Acknowledge others with your body language - face the speaker, look interested, and make eye contact.

    • Avoid ending the conversation abruptly.

  5. Empathize

    • Be sensitive, compassionate, and understanding ? realize it may be difficult for the speaker to talk about this matter.

    • Empathy doesn?t mean you have to agree with the speaker.

    • Avoid thinking about how to ?one up? the speaker with your own tale of woe.

  6. Be patient

    • We often interrupt because we are afraid we will forget our point(s). Don?t interrupt - allow the speaker to finish what she/he has to say.

    • Don?t? finish the speaker?s sentences because you think they?re taking too long to get to the point.

    • Focus on what is being said instead of what you think is going to be said.

  7. Eliminate interruptions and distractions

    • When possible, speak in a neutral location to avoid interruptions and distractions.

    • Be aware of and avoid interruptions ? phones or pagers (use voice mail), visitors (close the door) and distractions (voice mail light, overflowing in box, incoming mail).

  8. Seek Understanding

    • Focus on main points.

    • Paraphrase and seek clarification of points that are unclear or that you don?t understand.

  9. Show you?re actively listening

    • Listen with more than just your ears. Acknowledge and respond to the speaker with facial expressions (smile, nod/shake your head, eye contact) and verbal comments (?I see,? ?I understand,? ?okay,? ?yes?) to aid the conversation.

  10. Simply Listen

    • Sometimes our idea of listening is to jump in and give unwanted advice. Listening is not an open invitation to resolve a dilemma. Just listen because often the speaker simply seeks a sympathetic ear.

Whether you are a manager or employee, husband or wife, parent or child, pastor or parishioner, friend or foe, listening is critical to the success of your relationships. Take the time to truly listen to others and discover you?ll not only improve your relationships, you will achieve a new level of overall success in your life. Apply these techniques today so you can enjoy a better tomorrow!

By Joy Fisher-Sykes © 2005 All Rights Reserved

About The Author

Joy Fisher-Sykes is a professional speaker, author, and leading expert in the areas of leadership, communication skills, stress management, customer service, and team building. You can e-mail her at mailto:jfsykes@thesykesgrp.com, or call her at (757) 427-7032. Go to her web site, http://www.thesykesgrp.com, and signup for her newsletter, OnPoint, and signup for the newsletter, OnPoint, and receive the free ebook, "Empowerment and Stress Secrets for the Busy Professional."

Print and Internet publication rights are granted, free of charge, for this article, provided the credit paragraph and copyright remain intact.


Press Release Submissions are Crucial in Determining Online Success

Press Release Submissions are Crucial in Determining Online Success


 by: Hillary Lane

With the Internet becoming increasingly popular in our personal and professional lives, we need to find successful ways to make this medium work for us.
The beauty of the Internet is that it allows our advertising dollars to reach millions of people at a fraction of the cost of traditional marketing techniques.
However, this can also be a difficult and frustrating process as we attempt to compete with sites selling similar, and sometimes identical, products and services.
Press Release Submissions are crucial in determining our online success.

Press Release Submissions are one of most powerful methods for creating publicity to your business website.
It allows you to submit newsworthy information about your company such as a recent award, expansion, sales record, etc.
The exposure of your company information keeps people...

Press Release Submissions are Crucial in Determining Online Success
Hearing aid > Press Release Submissions are Crucial in Determining Online Success

Ultralight Backpacking List - 3 Days Under 10 Pounds

Ultralight Backpacking List - 3 Days Under 10 Pounds


 by: Steve Gillman

Here's an ultralight backpacking list, an example of what I typically take on a weekend hike. We're all different in our needs and skills, though, so please don't take it as a recomendation. My list, with weights (not including what I wear to start):

*GoLite Breeze Backpack: 12 ounces

*Western Mountaineering Bag: 17 ounces

*Nylon Tarp: 17 ounces

*Frogg Toggs Rain Jacket: 7 ounces

*Groundsheet: 2 ounces

*Sleeping Pad: 4 ounces

*Bathroom Supplies: 3 ounces

*First Aid Kit: 3 ounces

*Knife, Lighter, Etc: 3 ounces

*Hat: 1 ounce

*Gloves: 1 ounce

*Poly Vest: 4 ounces

*Socks, 2 pair: 2 ounces

*T-shirt, long sleeve: 6 ounces

*Camera: 5 ounces

*Light: 1 ounce

*Water: 16 ounces

*Raw Sunflower Seeds: 16 ounces

*Fudge-dipped granola bars (8): 16 ounces

*Tortilla Chips: 16...

Ultralight Backpacking List - 3 Days Under 10 Pounds
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Are You Prepared to Give First Aid to Your Dog

Are You Prepared to Give First Aid to Your Dog


 by: Alton Hargrave

As a dog owner, you may find yourself needing to give your dog first aid. Whether a car accident has occurred or your dog has collapsed from health related problems, there are some things you could prepare yourself for. Dogs are curious creatures and sometimes get into dangerous situations. When they get into trouble, it will be your job to help.

Nobody expects you to know everything a veterinarian knows. But, don't sell yourself short. Many of the problems a dog faces are similar to those of our own. Until you can get your dog to a vet, he or she will depend on you. And, sometimes the care you provide along the way will make the difference when you get to your vet. Having the supplies you need on hand will really help you to be effective.

Having the supplies you need on hand will really help you to be effective. Rolls of gauze and tape are handy to slow or stop bleeding....

Are You Prepared to Give First Aid to Your Dog
Hearing aid > Are You Prepared to Give First Aid to Your Dog

13 Things Every First Aid Kit Should Have

13 Things Every First Aid Kit Should Have


 by: John Mclain

Everyone should have a home first aid kit ready to go in case an emergency should arise. If you have small children, being prepared with an up-to-date first aid kit becomes even more important. Keeping a first aid kit within easy reach will provide you with considerable peace of mind. Here?s a handy checklist of the items that your first aid kit should, at a minimum, contain:

1. An Antiseptic (such as Bactine): Cleaning scrapes or wounds is important for preventing infection. If soap and water are not on hand, using an antiseptic will help flush out debris and provide a mild pain relief. Antiseptics may come in cream or spray form. Many, such as bactine, also provide pain relief.

2. Bandaids and gauze pads. Bandaids help treat injuries of all sizes. Your best bet is to buy a large package that comes with a variety of sizes.

For gauze pads, buying larger sizes works best...

13 Things Every First Aid Kit Should Have
Hearing aid > 13 Things Every First Aid Kit Should Have

Learning to Listen

Learning to Listen


 by: Jason Mills

In recent years, there have been great advances in the technology of hearing aids.
Cochlear implants have become commonplace in many parts of the world, and digital hearing aids have eclipsed their analogue counterparts in common usage.
Hearing aids have certainly come a long way, from the days of ear trumpets.
The following is a timeline of key developments in the advance of hearing aid technology.

? 1550 ? The theory of bone conduction through teeth was developed by Girolamo Cardano.

? 1558 ? Giovanni Batista Porta described some of the earliest hearing aids in his book Natural Magick.
They are shaped like the ears of animals known for their acute hearing abilities.

? 1724 ? A postmaster from Versailles, hoping to cure his own deafness, discovered Eustachian Tube Catheterization.

? 1878 ? Emil Berthold first described the surgical repair of a perforated...

Learning to Listen
Hearing aid > Learning to Listen

How To Get Started In Forex Trading

How To Get Started In Forex Trading


 by: Hana Lee

You may have been hearing about the foreign exchange market (FOREX) and the investment advantages it offers. You would like to try it out, but don't know where to start. This short guide will give you the basics in FOREX and tell you what you need to participate in this fast growing field.

Foreign exchange used to be limited to large players such as national banks and multi-national corporations. In the 1980's the rules were revised to allow smaller investors to participate using margin accounts. Margin accounts are the reason why FOREX trading has become so popular. With a 100:1 margin account, you can control $100,000 with a $1,000 investment.

FOREX is not simple, however, and education is needed to make wise investment decisions. Although it is relatively easy to start trading on the FOREX, there are risks involved, so finding out as much as possible about the market is a good move for...

How To Get Started In Forex Trading
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